raya

Assalamualaikum and good morning everyone.

Rasa macam dah lambat nak ucap tapi hakak peduli ape. Selamat hari raya peace XD

Sekarang sudah pun lepas raya aidilfitri.

Apa cite korangs?

Kita orangs okays jers.

alhamdulillah, nineteen years beraya dgn family.  Belum ada husbeng  lagi so kita still beraya dgn mama abah and adik.

i was talking to a friend and it just got me flasback-ing to the first raya after i 'berhijrah' dgn menjatuhkan tudung or melabuhkan tudung and  jaga my aurat.

first raya lepas i berhijrah, i wasn't that aware of the mahram & non-mahram thing, and went ahead with salam and hug all relatives i have. it didn't occur to me that i had to jaga not only my aurat, but my skinship with others.

so, when i realised this important fact, i tried to implement it by avoiding salaming my uncles and cousins who are my non-mahram. it wasn't easy, i tell yahh .

we're so used to salaming each other and stuff, that when i tried avoiding it, it looked as if i was avoiding them. my bad though, i didn't know a subtler way of not accepting handshakes, so i say my "Selamat Hari Raya!" and run off quickly in a circle. because i don't know where else to go coz sometimes during these raya visits, we just can't run off to bathrooms, or whoever's rooms every time someone comes in, get what i mean? Haha

it was so awkward in those early implementation phase.

but alhamdulillah now, all my cousins and uncles are aware of my principles, so they don't extend their hands anymore.

and then there's my future  husband's side of the family.

i wear tudung all the time when i'm at my in-laws. actually, even at my parent's house i pakai tudung. it used to be hot but i've gotten so used to it that kalau tak pakai, rasa cam rimas. haha!

so anyway, the same thing happened with my in-laws. i mean the uncles and cousins part. i was the first menantu ever kot dalam level anak buah for the uncles and aunties, so i guess they weren't aware of the no-salam prinsip i have.

Memang belum kawin but we will sambut hari raya together.  Family kau datang rumah aku and family aku datang rumah kau amacam ? haha

again, it was awkward at first, but alhamdulillah now, semua dah tau je.

no matter which kampung we go back to, either mine or aspidos's, i have to tutup aurat all the time, except kalau dapat bilik.

and in those early days, people would tell me that it's okay to take of my tudung and wear short sleeve tees because we're all family.

it was hard.

and it's hard because even yang pakai tudung bukak tudung or pakai short sleeves.

i bukan nak burukkan sesiapa! i'm just telling you that, yes, it's hard at first to taichi the handshakes, the hugs, and people's perception (if they have any) of you.

the handshakes especially sebab bila uncle kita yang kasi duit raya, mesti diorang expect kita salam kan? ada yang memang dah tau and kisah pasal mahram/non mahram ni.

tapi ada yang tau tapi tak kisah, and ada yang tak tau.

just do it anyway.

try to stop yourself from extending your hand for a handshake.

try to take the duit raya without handshaking your uncles or male cousins.

try to wear tudung and long sleeve tees (and long pants/skirts duhh) anyway when it's hot and people tell you that "it's ok".

try to wear shoes everywhere so that you're in your socks all day.

how i did it might not be the best way:

i take the angpow, put my hands behind me, bow my head and tell them "Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin, *insert awesome speech on forgiveness for my faults etc*".

so far it worked.

but i bet there are other ways to do it. i think i saw videos of it too!

i know this post should've been up before raya, but you know how Ramadhan is.

Instagram was the way to go. hahaha! =p

it doesn't have to start during raya though. anytime pun boleh start all this no salam thing. so there's always time to change and stick to your principles.

inshaAllah you'll do fine, and inshaAllah it'll get easier =)

All the best!